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Quarter Life Crisis

More comments from my “increments of five years” blog. Whew … I thought I opened a new Pandora’s box, but actually, there is a good explanation to it. Read on…..

Zoia told me that her increments of having to go through life’s major decisions happens not every five years, but it happens every time she wakes up in the morning! hahaha… and here’s a comment from Baba. Yes Ba, I will definitely tell you what my big bang is when I reach 30. Sorry that I gave you something to seriously think about, but it’s good right? Hehe…The last conversation we had about this was when we were discussing that we’ve been friends with Abba for a year now and we realized that time really flies so fast. Honestly, during that time, I had this feeling of “urgency” to think of my next step too! hahaha. So, when I turn 30, I’ll let you know or I might again be too busy to even realize that I am already 30! There is actually a term for this dear, it’s called “Quarter life crisis.” If people have mid-life crisis…we have this. For those interested, you can read about it in my favorite resource place, wikipedia. Just go to this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-life_crisis

Here are the indicators/characteristics in determining that you are undergoing quarter-life-crisis. All of you, use this as a check list. Hey people, at least, this is a scientific or a good psychological approach of understanding the phases we a going through in life … ….Hahahahaha……

* feeling “not good enough” because one can’t find a job that is at his/her academic/intellectual level (I know of someone like this)

* frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career (yup, I also know someone undergoing this)

* confusion of identity (wahahahahaha! This too!)

* insecurity regarding the near future (hmmm…yeah, this one, close encounter with one)

* insecurity regarding present accomplishments (hmmmm…you know who you are)

* re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships (yup…this too)

* disappointment with one’s job (HA! As in!)

* nostalgia for university or college life (shoot….i just went through this)

* tendency to hold stronger opinions (yeah, I’m starting to think like this….uh-oh)

* boredom with social interactions (NOT!)

* financially-rooted stress (wehehehehheh…..if that’s the case the whole world is having quarter life crisis)

* loneliness (hmmmmm……… yeah…. I know of some)

* desire to have children (wahahahahahaha! Yeah, to the point that artificial insemination is already being considered)

Here’s Baba’s comment:

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This is supposed to be my long overdue commentary on your blog. Thing is, it’s been more than a few weeks since I was supposed to have posted this and so I’m not sure if I can get all my thoughts together the way I would originally have wanted to. Hahahaha, the consequences of procrastination. Oh my God, don’t get me started. But you actually already have, with your “increments of five years, major decisions, life changes and all blog”. Darn it. That certainly shook me up. A week or so ago I remember telling you I was too mired in angst and dismay at how little I seem to have to show for anything. I’m still mired in angst and dismay thank you very much!

Noemi has a point, perhaps it is because your life has been moving along as it should, at a pace and by increments that you are innately, subconsciously and consciously satisfied with—that you are not really worried. Unless you are hopelessly dense and not even remotely attuned to yourself, which I sincerely doubt. So from an outsider’s point of view, you seem to be doing very well. But then again, let me know what happens when you hit 30!

Seriously though, I would have been hard pressed to come up with an evaluation had I been on the receiving end of that question. That implies that I’ve never really thought about it— and that is probably pretty much true. Which is scary considering that I am older than you.

So in answer to the question you posed— should you worry that you’re not the least bit preoccupied about it? Probably not. But maybe I should be. Hahahaha.

Some people have life plans. And some people don’t. And I say whatever works for you. I used to think I had a life plan. Partly perhaps because that’s how we were brought up. I think our parents belonged to a generation that believed in planning, that the only way to do things was to know then decide where you were going then to go for it. And so when I was in high school, I figured I had my life pretty much mapped out. Or perhaps everyone in high school thinks that. I was going to college, I was going to end up in Medicine and I was going to be a doctor. Beyond that I hadn’t really thought much about –at the time, becoming a doctor was more than plan enough for a 16 year old. And then, when I was in 4th year medical school, we had a Psychiatry class wherein we were asked about where and how we pictured ourselves in 5 years, then 10 years then 20. I drew a complete blank. I vaguely remember giving the requisite answers, picking a specialty out of thin air, simply because I figured that was surely the logical thing to do, and mumbling something about settling down and having a family, bull like that. But in truth, I wasn’t really sure and of course, when everyone else around you seems so sure of where they’re going (I had classmates who were so specific that they had their future home addresses picked out!)—it’s not easy to admit that, much less be okay with it.

So I used to think I had a life plan. But then at some point I think I felt like ditching that and instead decided to just see where life takes me or where I can go, what I can do… That may in fact, have been THE most critical life decision I’ve made in the last 5 or so years; in fact, THE impetus for all my succeeding, recent major decisions because come to think of it, I’ve made at least 5 major life decisions in the past 3 or 4 years. That decision snowballed into my deciding to walk away from Medicine for good, leave IHG and my work there, which I loved, come home to Cagayan, —among other things. Ok, so on the subject of increments, I, true to form, apparently make critical decisions in rapid fire succession (obscure reference to a particularly nasty rumor intended. Hah.). And during these bursts of decision-making, my life decisions are made on the average in 6-8 month increments. How’s that for pacing? I can never do things by halves, it seems. Makes me wonder if I have in effect left people reeling in the wake of those Jdecisions. My parents included. Or especially.

So now the plan is, NOT to have a plan….And perhaps the next most critical thing to do is decide to be completely okay with that, even if some people aren’t, exactly, and others just plain question my sanity. Mind you, I’m still not sure that I’m completely okay with it, I have my moments of panic (aka angst and dismay) but I suppose that’s okay too.

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Thanks for the comment Ba! To close this blog, I will leave you with a quote mentioned in wikipedia.

“In the novel, Twenty Something by Iain Hollingshead, Flatmate Fred says that a quarter-life crisis is twice as bad as a midlife crisis: “It’s twenty years premature. No one gives you any sympathy and you’re too young and insignificant to buy a sports car and run off with your secretary.””

About The Author

Stephanie

Stephanie Caragos is the President & CEO of the 16 year running IT Company, Syntactics, Inc. and is the founder of letIThelp.org, a program and initiative that envisions in helping young Filipinos hone their skills in IT and increase their chances of getting stable and profitable jobs. She is a speaker and mentor in various Online Marketing, Web, ICT and ICT businesses related seminars and talks and works tirelessly in finding innovative ways of marketing online for clients. She is also a staunch supporter of Filipino Small and Medium Enterprises as she continues to develop products and services that would benefit SMEs as well as help them increase their success rate in using technology in business. Stephanie is currently the president of the CDO ICT Business Council and works with the members and stakeholders in the city in promoting ICT to support more startups and create more jobs in the city. She recently completed her Eisenhower Fellowship and was awarded as the Douglas Dillon Named Fellow for the year 2016.

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